tsk, if only life is as simple as providing the right answers.. i can easily come up with so many things to say to motivate myself, but none of it is coming from within.. after talking to waylon last night, i did feel more motivated.. but it's not a question of motivation now, it's about confidence.. i didn't lose any motivation, i still want to be a pilot, but chances are slim.. had my 2nd marginal pass and it's only the 5th practical.. i was told during debrief that if i dont improve, he'll have to fail me tmr.. maybe god will grant me with more brain power tmr?

damn, i feel it was a really big improvement from the previous flight, however, there are some mistakes i really shouldn't be making.. things like neglecting secondary effects, not maintaining my visual reference point.. like wtf man? it's so simple when we talk about it.. but when you're up there, it seems as though the helmet is "the helmet of stupidity" the brain reacts 20% slower!

anyway, last friday, jonathan failed sortie 4.. today, felix failed sortie 5.. will i make the list for sortie 6? how will i make it to sortie 8's test? =(

i want to eat bbq stingray, sambal kangkong, sambal sotong, laksa, chilli/pepper crab.. the list goes on.... *slurps*

I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT..

let's hope that makes a difference..